Life Is Short: That Baby Goat Won't Milk

Life Is Short is an as-needed series documenting the films we just couldn't make it through. We like to refer to these movies as "Damsels in Distress." Previous entries are here , here, here, here, here, here here, here and here.

Milking goats and riding bulls. This story of devout Christians living a boring life somewhere in Texas is as dreadfully boring as depicted in this semi-dramatic rendering of non-actors mumbling their way through the dull days. Cinema verite has never suffered so much.

This is an enticing description of the film: "When Sara meets Colby, a young amateur bull rider, she is thrown into crisis, questioning the only way of life she has ever known. ... 'Stop the Pounding Heart' is an exploration of adolescence, family and social values, gender roles, and religion in the rural American South."

That would be intriguing if true. Here, adolescent Sara and amateur bullrider Colby have hardly laid eyes on each other or had an actual conversation for more than the first half of the film. Instead, we get tedious, repetitive depictions of goat milking, milk selling, Bible reading, religious lectures, bullriding and practice bullriding. There are two scenes of hair combing.

I was waiting for something to sizzle here, but I couldn't even get a simmer. I'm growing more impatient with filmmakers trying to find something significant in the lives of teenagers. I understand low-fi realism, and I have the patience for a slack pace in search of subtle insight. And I'm sorry these humble, well-meaning folks are trapped in West Texas under the yoke of Jesus. But if I'm going to be a fly on the wall, somewhere, at some point, there needs to be some shit for me to land on.

Title: STOP THE POUNDING HEART
Running Time: 101 MIN
Elapsed Time at Plug Pull:  51 MIN
Portion Watched: 50.5%
My Age at Time of Viewing: 52 YRS, 11 MOS.
Average Male American Lifespan: 76.4 YRS.
Watched/Did Instead: Put on the classical music and did chores
Odds of Re-viewing This Title: 100-1