Life Is Short: Guardians of the Galaxy

Life Is Short is an as-needed series documenting the films we just couldn't make it through. We like to refer to these movies as "Damsels in Distress." Previous entries are here , here, here, here, here, here and here.

Maybe it's a knockout on the big screen. But on my TV this was a bunch of sloppy CGI with limp humor and a hero lacking charisma. The plot is convoluted, the good guys and bad guys hard to sort out. Characters often carry out the dreaded trope of fending off multiple attackers, even if they have futuristic lasers.

The Walkman gag was charming the first few times. The talking raccoon is quaint. Maybe the second half starts to make more sense and would evoke actual laughter. "The Lego Movie" was sharper and more clever. Here, I never found an opening. If this was intended as satire, it failed.

And I grew up with those songs. The soundtrack is lazy.

Title: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
Running Time: 121 MIN
Elapsed Time at Plug Pull: 63 MIN (with some dozing before the end of the first hour)
Portion Watched: 52%
My Age at Time of Viewing: 52 YRS, 1 MO.
Average Male American Lifespan: 81.2 YRS.
Watched/Did Instead: Half-watched a bad Amazon sitcom and then headed off to bed.
Odds of Re-viewing This Title: 20-1.