Life Is Short: Oh, for Two

Life Is Short is an as-needed series documenting the films we just couldn't make it through. We like to refer to these movies as "Damsels in Distress." Previous entries can be found here. 

We love Claire Denis, and we have patience for her brand of storytelling (back to "Beau Travail" in 1999 and "White Material" in 2009). As recently as last year, we were enthralled by her relationship drama with Juliette Binoche, "Let the Sunshine In."  With her newest, "High Life," she re-teams with Binoche, who is subjected to a graphic sex scene with a machine, but unfortunately this one is a threesome, including Robert Pattinson. A foursome if you include the crying baby who dominates the first half hour of this story about criminals sent into space as guinea pigs with no hopes of returning to Earth.

Or something like that. Pattinson mumbles and the baby girl screams a lot as Denis takes forever to press "start." Very little happens. It's hard to care about Pattinson's character or the others who, we see from the opening scene, will be carelessly jettisoned from the space ship. This may eventually stumble into fascinating sci-fi territory and a philosophical exploration of human existence. We'll never know.

Title: HIGH LIFE

Running Time: 113 MIN

Elapsed Time at Plug Pull:  33 MIN

Portion Watched: 29%

My Age at Time of Viewing: 56 YRS, 10 MOS.

Average Male American Lifespan: 78.7 YRS.

Watched/Did Instead: Read the news online.

Odds of Re-viewing This Title: 55-1

And now for something completely different ...

Maybe you like watching professional wrestling. I did when I was 9. I grew out of that phase. "Fighting With My Family" was a pretty quick and easy pull at the 20-minute mark. You might be able to survive this one if you enjoy the "sport" and get the references. An obese Nick Frost heads the family that is gaga about pro wrestling, dreams of WWE glory, and wears its vulgarities on its collective sleeves. 

God bless Stephen Merchant, who wrote and directed (and does a wacky turn as a prudish twit appalled by the family), but this is pretty thin gruel. Maybe things pick up when Vince Vaughn shows up (they usually do), but I immediately realized I was not the target audience here. 

Title: FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY

Running Time: 108 MIN

Elapsed Time at Plug Pull:  20 MIN

Portion Watched: 18.5%

My Age at Time of Viewing: 56 YRS, 10 MOS.

Average Male American Lifespan: 78.7 YRS.

Watched/Did Instead: Watched another video.

Odds of Re-viewing This Title: 100-1