NO HARD FEELINGS (D+) - This one starts out with a scene in which the lead character's car is getting repossessed because there is a tax lien on the house she inherited from her mother. I'm an attorney but not a tax/bankruptcy attorney, but I can't imagine a universe where someone's car would get grabbed under those circumstances.
You see that out of the gate and you say, OK, it's going to be that kind of a movie. And it is. It is one long idiot plot, one contrivance after another. Jennifer Lawrence plays a down-on-her-luck 30-something who -- needing a replacement car -- happens to struggle across a classified ad from parents offering up a car (what a coincidence!) for a woman who will bust their son's cherry. Yep, it's that kind of movie. (It's also the kind of movie where the main character has to rollerblade everywhere and doesn't think to take the rollerblades off when she has to climb stairs -- because, then where would the comedy be without such physical humor from a glamorous actress.)
But wait, there's more. Not only does is this transaction arranged, but would you believe that Jennifer Lawrence can't close the deal with the nerd she has been assigned to? Yes, that Jennifer Lawrence, the highly attractive and charming one. In 2023, neither she nor the dweeb can manage to at least round third base, because ... well, take our word for it, they just can't bring themselves to sully themselves in such a cheap way. In 2023.
Lawrence is Maddie, one of those noble locals scraping by among rich seasonal snobs, this time in Montauk, N.J. She has a couple of fun scenes with her bitter ex, Gary (Ebon Moss-Bachrach), who happens to be the tow-truck driver who snatches her car at the beginning of the movie. They have a nice exchange when she tries to sweet talk him about how much she misses him, until a wild Italian in his underwear strolls out of her house, belying her claims. Natalie Morales has little to latch onto in the script as Maddie's best friend.
Matthew Broderick and Laura Benanti are amusing for their first couple of scenes as the suffocating and super-sensitive helicopter parents who have babied their son into a ball of neurotic virginity. (Their incredulity at Maddie's claim to be in her early 20s elicits a chuckle or two.) Andrew Barth Feldman is meek Percy (that name reminds you that it's that kind of movie), a dog-shelter worker who insists on needing to be in love in order to make love. Sure thing, Perce.
As this ridiculous story grinds on (for more than 100 minutes), you hate yourself more and more for enduring it and indulging the fledgling director, Gene Stupnitsky, and his co-writer, John Phillips (who has one other movie on his resume). Sitcom predicaments abound, and the shtick grows tiresome. You might be wondering if there's any actual sex in the movie or any kind of saucy content. I can save you some time. Skip to around the 35-minute mark if you want to see Lawrence fighting naked on a beach. For better or worse it's a highlight, or at least a pleasant diversion.
Whether that's worth a fast-forward on Netflix is a choice. Some intellectual workouts will make your brain hurt. "No Hard Feelings" (Get it? "Hard"!) will have your brain craving some exercise.
* - Holy Crap is an occasional series about unique films, cutting a wide swath from brilliant to awful. Check out previous entries here.
No comments:
Post a Comment