There Was a Time

 Variations on dick-measuring contests, as we revisit titles from back in the day ...

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (1992) (A) - There once was a world, in another century, in which David Mamet expelled the last gasps of the old-school macho writers, and it was pure poetry. Blessed with great actors to deliver his lines, "Glengarry Glen Ross" is perhaps his most fully realized screen endeavor.

Al Pacino, an aged Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Alan Arkin, plus Kevin Spacey and Alec Baldwin (nearly stealing the film in a single classic scene) -- a full card of heavyweights who slug it out with puffed-out chests and vulgar putdowns, all to cover up their insecurities as real-estate salesmen struggling to survive. Pacino is all swagger, Lemmon is all agony-of-defeat. Harris is cool, Arkin is jittery. Spacey is the office manager who hands out leads and takes the most (often homophobic) slander. Baldwin made his name as the super-salesman who swoops in offering first prize of a Cadillac to the biggest seller; second place is a set of steak knives; third place -- "You're fired." 

Buckle up, gentleman. This movie is not for the gutless. Drama ensues, as it seems one of our men has staged a break-in and grabbed the most promising leads. All bets are off in this dog-eat-dog world of survival of the fittest. One-liners fly by. The patter comes in Mamet's patented jazz rhythms. Everyone's manhood gets questioned at some point. Business is conducted. There are winners and losers. No one said life would be easy, gentlemen. You do or die, though either way, in the end, you die.

FUNNY PEOPLE (2009) (A-minus) - It takes extra patience to tolerate Adam Sandler as a Serious Actor, but it usually pays off. See, for example, "Punch-Drunk Love" (2002), "Reign Over Me" (2007), and more recently, "The Meyerowitz Stories" and "Uncut Gems." This Judd Apatow epic finds the sweet spot for Sandler between mugging and maudlin.

Sandler plays George Simmons, loosely based on Sandler, an insanely rich comic known for his juvenile hit movies, who nonetheless lives alone, occasionally having sex with groupies. He takes in a young comic, Ira (Seth Rogen), not only to craft some fresh material, but to basically keep him company. Ira is awed by Simmons and his wealth, but he still lives on a pull-out couch with two roommates -- a wisecracking fellow comic, Leo (Jonah Hill), as well as Mark (Jason Schwartzman in full unctuous mode), a handsome star of a shallow sitcom, the least talented among them having the most success. They hang out with quirky Daisy (Aubrey Plaza), who undermines the cliche of the manic pixie dream girl.

George finds out that he is dying, and so he wants to make up for the laziness of his existence, and top on his list is making things right with an ex, Laura (Leslie Mann), the love of his life, the one that got away. When he and Ira show up at her door, George bonds with her two girls and does battle with her crazy Australian husband (Eric Bana). 

Like all of Judd Apatow's movies, this one is at least 20 minutes too long, though it is entirely bearable, thanks to a stellar cast of mostly hungry young comic actors. (RZA and Aziz Ansari also have minor roles.) Apatow certainly knows the rhythm of standup sets, and there are plenty here, and they are genuinely funny. Sandler carries it all like a pro. George comes across as a fairly nuanced character; his chronic dick references are so over-the-top that some bittersweet self-loathing breaks through.Things get a little sloppy and sprawling, but Apatow crafts a powerful narrative, with a classic arc, and I never tired of anybody's company here.

TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE (2004) (A-minus) - Sometimes all you need something to be is dumb as a rock and funny as hell. Trey Parker and Matt Stone -- the pop-culture vultures behind "South Park" -- are the perfect men for that job.

This post 9/11 spoof of jingoistic action films is populated entirely by marionettes. Let that sink in. It features a sex scene that would be X-rated if not for the fact that the couple in question are puppets. If you don't think you'd find that hilarious, then maybe skip this one.

The plot involves an actor, Gary, recruited to Team America -- a renegade bunch of special-ops agents taking on terrorists -- because of his purportedly amazing acting skills. The joke -- pummeled throughout the movie -- is that Gary (and most actors) are inept egotistical douchebags improperly revered by American society. In fact, Parker and Stone line up puppet versions of real-life actors -- Alec Baldwin is their top target, along with a monosyllabic Matt Damon -- in order to constantly mock them. He portrays them as insufferable saps whose progressivism blinds them to the evils of America's enemies, in particular Kim Jong Il of North Korea, portrayed as a maniac hellbent on destroying the Bushian New World Order.

Parker and Stone traffic in blatant stereotypes and silly tropes -- especially when mocking terrorists as jibberish-spouting maniacs (from Durka-Durkastan). When anyone speaks a foreign language, they just spout random words, because the filmmakers -- like most Americans -- have no time to actually study another culture. They are essentially daring viewers to stoop to complaining about a puppet show and outing themselves as uptight nudniks. 

The humor is vulgar and foul -- again, these are the provocateurs behind "South Park," OK? -- and ridiculously entertaining. The soundtrack is full of spot-on spoofs of patriotism ("America, Fuck Yeah!") and goofy score-settling (Michael Bay gets savagely skewered). It all rarely rises above the kind of movie we might have made at age 12. If you're not prepared to confront that inner child, you won't stand a chance here.