It was a bust at the box office this Christmas. The offerings were so bad that we just skipped our most cherished tradition -- The Annual Christmas Day Mainstream Movie outing, which goes back to 2004 and has skipped only two other years (2005 and 2020).
The problem: The movies in theaters either looked bad, depressing or way too long. Epic Hollywood fail. Some options among the new mainstream releases:
- "Avatar" - Not suitable for a group outing; more of an individual viewing choice. Three hours and 12 minutes. I had no interest in this or the first "Avatar." Hectic.
- "Babylon" - A literal shit-show. Not suitable for a holiday gathering. More than three hours long. Damien Chazelle is on thin ice already.
- "The Whale" - Mixed reviews. Looks incredibly depressing. (An "abject wallow through a mire of maudlin clichés about trauma and redemption," per Slate.) Brendan Fraser? Darren Aronofsky ("The Wrestler," '08), ugh, already.
- "Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody" - Biopic. Another downer (junkie dies in bathtub). From the writer of the ridiculous "Bohemian Rhapsody." Lip-syncing. Produced by Clive Davis, her exploiter. Two and a half hours long.
- "Violent Night" - Er, no.
- "The Menu" - Saw it.
- "Puss in Boots" - A cartoon for children.
- "The Fabelmans" - Two and a half hours of Spielberg.
Life is short. We stayed in and watched "Glass Onion," the "Knives Out" sequel.
For the record, here is our list from previous years, in order of preference:
1. Up in the Air (2009)
2. Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)
3. Dreamgirls (2006)
4. Charlie Wilson's War (2007)
5. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)
6. Little Women (2019)
7. The Fighter (2010)
8. Licorice Pizza (2021)
9. American Hustle (2013)
10. The Shape of Water (2017)
11. La La Land (2016)
12. The Wrestler (2008)
13. Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
14. Young Adult (2011)
15. This Is 40 (2012)
16. Holmes & Watson (2018)
17. Into the Woods (2014)
BONUS TRACK
Our title track, from Willie Nelson:
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