A Colossal Mess

COLOSSAL (D+) - I can't imagine that this thing even looked good on paper, let alone during production. It's a muddle, and not even an inspired one.

For the first half hour there is some promise here as a meta-commentary about relationships, addictions, and alien invasions. Anne Hathaway is charming as Gloria, a bumbling alcoholic, kicked out of her New York apartment by a fed-up boyfriend and landing back in her family's empty home back in the town she grew up in. Jason Sudeikis is fairly engaging as Oscar, a childhood friend who hasn't seen Gloria since she went off to the big city to be an "internet journalist."

Oscar looks out for her, gives her a job at his bar, buys her a futon and a TV, and seems to care about her well-being. But he enables her alcoholism with after-closing drinking sessions with her and two buddies, dimwitted hunk Joel (Austin Stowell), whom Gloria is attracted to when she's had a few, and cranky old Garth (a misused, maudlin Tim Blake Nelson).

Spanish writer-director Nacho Vigalondo started out with a fun idea (which led to a misleadingly entertaining trailer): a Godzilla-like monster is attacking Seoul, South Korea, and it appears to be controlled somehow by Gloria, mimicking her movements from the other side of the world. It turns out that Gloria can, at a specific time and place, trigger an appearance by the monster and either wreak havoc or spare lives.

There is some fun to be had for about 40 minutes, and you settle in with Gloria and Oscar. But then Vigalondo runs off the rails with his narrative, flying off into a ditch. The relationship between Gloria and Oscar -- friends only (though jealousy is a key plot point) -- turns dark and cartoonish. Neither fans nor detractors of graphic novels will buy into the goofy explanation of the origin of Gloria's secret powers.

This fails as both spoof and straight storytelling. The facile characterizations undermine the narrative at every turn. Gloria is that cute, Hollywood kind of blackout drunk. She's always repeating stories to Oscar, not realizing that she had already told him these things the night before during a binge. It's played not as a disturbing trait but as an adorable little wink between them. Gloria also manages to have perfect, full-bodied hair, with a shampoo-commercial sheen and perfect bangs, even when waking up in the middle of the day face-down in her own drool. "Days of Wine and Roses" this is not.

But then, this isn't supposed to be such a dour drama, obviously. Except that Vigalondo wants us to buy into the pathos and some sort of deeper message. He wants to have it both ways -- wacky and soul-searching -- and he fails to achieve either one. You think of others who might have pulled this off -- Charlie Kaufman and Michel Gondry in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," for example -- and you realize that this isn't even a spectacular failure.

BONUS TRACK
The film opens with a lovely version of "Shake Sugaree" (later reworked by the Grateful Dead), by Elizabeth Cotten, with Brenda Evans on vocals: