High Concept

COLLATERAL BEAUTY (2016) (D+) - This dumb movie, monitored as background Muzak on HBO, is a goofy rom-com disguised as a "Crash"-like swirl of personal tragedies. The producers thought it would be a good idea to have comic actor Will Smith act morose and have drama queen Helen Mirren try to yuk it up. Smith plays an ad exec mourning the death of a child from two years earlier, rendered mute and prone to creating elaborate domino sculptures (the Big Theme, if you weren't paying attention).  His three colleagues, each one grappling with their own personal demons, spy on him and discover that he has written angry letters addressed to Love, Time and Death. So they hire three actors to play his ludicrous game and represent Love, Time and Death.

Everyone will learn a Big Lesson, especially -- shock, surprise -- the three colleagues, one of whom is unlucky at love, another who is racing the clock, and another grappling with the possibility of death. Smith cries a lot. Edward Norton performs with his trademark smirk. Mirren looks embarrassed. Kate Winslet is horribly wasted. Keira Knightley (not Natalie Portman) flails as Love, fending off the creepy Norton character. No one has any chemistry with any other cast member. Alternatively maudlin and goofy, this does not work on any level. The reason the grade is so high is that it does have a fantastic ending. If only it weren't a chore getting to it.

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE (2010) (B) - This makes me laugh, even the second time around. It is a shameless rip-off of "Back to the Future," "Porky's" and a few other slices of '80s cheese, but everyone in it is having so much fun. John Cusack strikes just the right tone as the leader of a band of misfits who travel through time via a mysterious hot tub during a reunion at a ski lodge. Rob Corddry is insane as the loud-mouth member of the bunch. He and Craig Robinson banter well, with the latter a master of incredulity.

A few familiar faces flit across the screen in minor roles: Lizzy Caplan as a love interest for Cusack, Crispin Glover as a staffer perpetually on the brink of losing an arm, and "Mad Men's" Jessica Pare in a lusty romp in the bubbling water. This is a heady brew of lust and laughs. And if you can get past the ridiculous concept (and Chevy Chase as the spooky maintenance man), you're in for a tub-full of yuks.
 

Far-Out Field Studies

MOST BEAUTIFUL ISLAND (C) - A spectacle in the true sense of the word, this vanity project comes from Spanish actress Ana Asensio, making her writing and directing debut with the tale of a struggling immigrant lured into an exotic underground scene in Manhattan. Asencio, sculpted and statutesque with penetrating eyes, slums a bit in the starring role, playing screw-up Luciana -- morose and melancholy -- a perpetually broke bumbler who is equally inept baby-sitting adolescents or hawing restaurant fliers while wearing a chicken suit.

It's a stretch to convince us that Luciana is both incompetent and desperate enough to fall for a scam perpetrated by her model pal Olga (Natasha Romanova). Luciana finds herself in an underground lair, amid a bevy of beauties lined up to satisfy the kinky desires of a random group of elite fetishists. Is her life in danger or is merely her self-respect on the line? Asencio is not shy about displaying her body for all to see, but Luciana's emotional life remains quite cloaked.

This descends into absurdity by the end of its 80-minute run, and there is no clear point to the exercise. (Luciana is haunted by a tragedy back in her homeland, a trope that is stale and clunky here.) An extended scene of Luciana bungling the after-school pickup of misbehaving siblings has a delightful edge to it, and there are scattered moments of sharp storytelling and camera work (the opening scene tracks with a series of women strutting through Manhattan before alighting on Luciana), but the descent into cheap Cinemax titillation makes this feel lurid in the end.

TABU (2012) (B-minus) - Half of an interesting movie from Miguel Gomes ("Our Beloved Month of August," which we still haven't gotten to), a 40-something auteur from Portugal. The first half is a chore to get through. It revolves around Pilar (Teresa Madruga), who has been jilted by the Polish student she was expected to host, coping with her eccentric neighbor Aurora (Laura Soveral) and Aurora's exasperated housekeeper Santa (Isabel Cardoso). Aurora seems to be losing her marbles, and characters often talk past each other rather than to each other.

The first half ends with Aurora's demise, and she and -- later, after she dies -- an old friend, Gian Luca Ventura (Henrique Espirito Santo), reminisce about their shared past. It turns out that back in their youth, Aurora (Ana Moreira in flashback) was a farmer and hunter in Africa (in the shadow of the fictional Mount Tabu). Ventura narrates the tale of free-spirited Aurora's scandalous affair with musician Gian Luca.

Gomes shoots in grainy black and white, and he flashes an old-fashioned, elegant visual style (with a slight surrealist nod to Guy Maddin's fever dreams). He mixes American rock classics -- both original and remakes (including by the Ramones) and both in English and Portuguese -- to evoke an era as well as to mix and match cultures and continents. It's a gorgeous movie that could essentially do without its first hour.

BONUS TRACKS
The trailers. First, "Most Beautiful Island":



 "Tabu":



"Be My Baby," in Portuguese, by Les Surfs:
Tabu - Be My Baby from Alex Mystery on Vimeo.
 
  

New to the Queue

The other side ...

Sally Potter ("Yes," "Orlando") returns with another chi-chi chamber piece, this time with Patricia Clarkson leading a solid cast, "The Party."

We liked Ryan Coogler's "Creed" so much that we're willing to gamble on a super-hero movie, "Black Panther."

The inimitable Francois Ozon ("Frantz," "Young & Beautiful") whips up another juicy plot, a love triangle this time, in "Double Lover."

Guy Maddin's preternaturally odd tribute to Hitchcock, an homage to the San Francisco of "Vertigo," the hourlong fever dream "The Green Fog."
 

Join the Club

I'm not the only one who is grumpy about the quality of movies these days.  Here's a snapshot of the grades given to the nine most recent movies on the review site of the Onion's AV Club (no relation):

• C ("Looking Glass" with Nicolas Cage)
• C-minus (Clint Eastwood's "The 15:17 to Paris")
• D+ ("50 Shades Freed")
• C-minus ("Golden Exits" from Alex Ross Perry)
• C ("The Ritual")
• C ("Basmati Blues" with Brie Larson)
• C+ ("Peter Rabbit," with its insensitive allergy joke)
• C+ (Netflix's surprise sci-fi release "The Cloverfield Paradox")
• C ("Winchester")

See?
  

The Best of 2017

This is the danger zone
This is where I came in
They know not what they do
Forgive them all their sins
    -- The brothers Gibb

I knew, just a few days into this new year, that it was time to reboot. After a hugely disappointing 2017 for movies -- and the movie industry -- I'd been feeling a significant shift coming on.

On January 3rd, at the end of a long day, I craved mindless entertainment. I settled on the revived version of the TV game show "Match Game." And there, in the seat once reserved for Charles Nelson Reilly -- top row, right -- was Mark Duplass. A lot of people don't know his name. He is a Mumblecore legend, and, with his brother, Jay, the face of independent filmmaking. He is a great actor and producer. And now he has achieved the level of amiably yukking it up on game shows.

Seeing him cavorting on network TV presented the perfect dichotomy: It upends notions of me as a film snob and elitist -- because I was, you know, wallowing in "Match Game" -- yet it reaffirms my old-school Mumblecore gangsta cred, going back a decade or so. It's a neat bow to tie on the end of an era.

It's difficult to recall a worse year for films -- and for moviegoing -- than 2017. Besides the unmasking of the Hollywood machine, there simply were not very many good films released last year. I had to stretch things to get a respectable Top Ten list (below). Worse, the string of disappointments from favorite filmmakers of the past runs even longer. That list (also below) includes less than sterling films from the likes of Sofia Coppola, Noah Baumbach, Asghar Farhadi, Jim Jarmusch, Greta Gerwig, Luca Guadagnino, Steven Soderbergh, Mike White, and Francois Ozon. Francois Ozon, alors! And I didn't even bother to go see movies offered up by old favorites: the Coen brothers, George Clooney, Alexander Payne, Darren Aronofsky, Yorgos Lanthimos or Paul Thomas Anderson. I've pretty much given up on Christopher Nolan.

There is one filmmaker out there who can consistently knock me out, and he made the only great film of 2017: Sean Baker, who followed up "Starlet" and "Tangerine" with another profound character study of the underclass, "The Florida Project." Nothing else was close to that gem, with a cast full of newcomers. All is not lost, but that's a lot of responsibility to place on one filmmaker.

There were plenty of disappointments to fill up a C-list. Rehashed stories, trite set-ups, played-out plots. Maybe I'm just an out-of-touch middle-aged white heterosexual male who just didn't understand the subtle brilliance of darlings like "Get Out" and "Call Me by Your Name," but I couldn't wait for either one to be over.

Too often in 2017, I was shut out while searching for a decent Sunday matinee. The arsty multiplexes clinged longer to middling indie releases, and a ripple effect seemed to starve the rest of the food chain, including the next option for distributors, our beloved Guild Cinema. Last month, I picked up the new two-month schedule for the Guild, turned to February, my Sharpie at the ready -- and I didn't find one title worth circling.

I do think think the Weinstein scandal is a symptom of many ills, beyond the sexual predation of some men. We've never nurtured a hotbed of mainstream fare here, but why did we give even scant attention to the extended "Ocean's Eleven" fraternity and their good ol' boy enablers? Even the indie crowd is turning insular and indulgent. And archly mainstream. (Damn you, Duplass.)

Why am I so cranky? Am I getting burned out? That could be a part of it. Or maybe it is just the nature of the grinding cycle of cultural consumption. I believe in turning new chapters and evolving. Weeding out old standbys. Meantime, I feel called to other duties. My long-running feature "Life Is Short" has taken on an extra yip of resonance. I've even been distracted from completing this essay in recent days.

I plan to continue this blog, but in abbreviated form. For the past five years, I've posted about three times a week, often writing full reviews. I will scale that back in frequency and quantity; there will be more capsule reviews than extended essays. It should, however, continue to fulfill its primary function: providing a guide to worthwhile films that you might otherwise overlook or never hear about. (Click away at the links below.) We might dip more often into the archives, searching out the gems we ourselves overlooked.

Maybe this will be a temporary lull, a way to wait out this rain delay, so to speak, like when WGN used to turn away from shots of the Wrigley Field grounds crew dragging the tarp onto the field to air highlights of Oakland A's World Series wins from the early '70s. Maybe it's just the way things are these days, now that my boyhood team, the Cubs, ended their World Series drought and exorcised decades-old angst. Maybe I just miss Charles Nelson Reilly.

Pardon me as I shuffle along the row of seats toward the aisle and the exit. This is the part where I came in.

THE TOP TEN

 

  1. The Florida Project - Master storytelling with a mostly rookie cast. A true feel for the human condition. Including, for the second year in a row, the best director, Sean Baker.
  2. Baby Driver - I know it's flawed, but I saw it on the big screen twice and fell for it each time. The most fun I can imagine having in a cineplex. Thank you, Edgar Wright, for the music and the mania.
  3. Dawson City: Frozen Time - A mesmerizing, meandering trip to the turn of the 20th century, to a gold-rush era and the origins of Hollywood.
  4. Donald Cried - Kris Avedisian's manic title character is riveting from beginning to end, as he makes life miserable for an old high school buddy who is back in town for a visit. Featuring the year's best screenplay by Avedisian.
  5. Lovesong - The wonderful Riley Keough drives this moody road movie about an unhappily married young mother rekindling a crush on her college pal.
  6. Suntan - From Greece, a harrowing depiction of a middle-age basket case going off the rails as he tries to recapture his youth while fixating on a beautiful young woman. This depressing exercise is somehow sexy and intoxicating.
  7. The Big Sick - An old-fashioned feel-good movie about defying family traditions and pursuing true love.
  8. Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World - An impeccable documentary about unsung musicians of the modern music era.
  9. Brigsby Bear - This seems like it is too weird to work, but goofy Kyle Mooney pulls off one of the sweetest films of the year.
10. Abacus: Small Enough to Jail - Another meticulous documentary, from Steve James ("Hoop Dreams"), with a compelling story to tell about our nation's priorities.

BONUS TRACKS

     It took us a while to get to some leftovers from 2016. "Toni Erdmann" would have ended up in the top five on the 2016 list, if I'd seen it in time. Such a powerful father-daughter story -- quirky and uplifting, heartbreaking and soulful. And Daniel Burman, a true storyteller with heart, exploited the father-son dynamic for another of his charming little movies, "The Tenth Man." Meantime, Emmanuelle Bercot tore things up in "My King" as a woman paralyzed by rage in a frustrating marriage. And Denzel Washington was fantastic in "Fences."

JUST MISSED THE LIST

(Honorables mentioned)

• A Quiet Passion
• The Glass Castle
• The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman's Portrait Photography
• The Teacher
• A Wolf at the Door
• The Salesman
• Graduation

MORE TOP DOCS

• I Am Not Your Negro
• Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story
• Obit
• Kedi 
• Jane

GUILTY PLEASURES

• The Little Hours
• Battle of the Sexes
• The Trip to Spain
• Patti Cakes
• Wilson
• The Lure
• Band Aid
• The Disaster Artist

 

TOP PERFORMANCES

• Kris Avedisian, bonkers in "Donald Cried."
• Young Brooklynn Prince in "The Florida Project."
• Frances McDormand and Sam Rockwell going mano-a-mano in "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri."
• Timothee Chalamet, mostly rising above the corniness in "Call Me by Your Name."
• Cynthia Nixon, fascinating as Emily Dickinson in "A Quiet Passion."
• Woody Harrelson with the hat trick in "Wilson," "The Glass Castle" and "Three Billboards."
• Fred Armisen, fiercely funny in "The Little Hours" and "Band Aid."
• Riley Keough, following up "American Honey" with a sorrowful turn in "Lovesong." 
• Emmanuelle Devos as a mother obsessed with vengeance in "Moka."

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

(Some of our favorite directors didn't thrill us this time around)

• Noah Baumbach is at least getting back to equilibrium with "The Meyerowitz Stories"
• Sofia Coppola's totally indulgent and unnecessary remake, "The Beguiled"
• Asghar Farhadi made a really good movie, rather than a great one, "The Salesman"
• To a lesser extent, a minor disappointment from Francois Ozon, the lovely "Frantz"
• Greta Gerwig's solid but unspectacular debut, "Lady Bird"
• Jim Jarmusch's water-treaders "Paterson" and "Gimme Danger"
• Writer Mike White with "Beatriz at Dinner" (and probably "Brad's Status" if we'd gotten around to that one)
• Martin McDonagh's fussed-over "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"
• Steven Soderbergh's big return, the fun but underwhelming "Logan Lucky"
• Eliza Hittman ("It Felt Like Love") turning in a dreary "Beach Rats"
• Dee Rees, who splashed with "Pariah," floundering with "Mudbound"
• Luca Guadagnino following up "A Bigger Splash," a perfect film, with the ridiculous "Call Me By Your Name"

COMING ATTRACTIONS

(Haven't caught these yet)

• Columbus
• Sieranevada
• Ex Libris: New York Public Library
• Brad's Status
• Rat Film

Stay tuned for reviews of those five titles and plenty more, albeit in condensed form, as we hold out hope for 2018.

BONUS TRACK
Speaking of guilty pleasures, our title track:


 

One-Liners: Wild Rides

THE ROAD MOVIE (B) - This delightful distraction compiles dash-cam videos from cars on Russia's roads. It can be both amusing and harrowing. Because the audio is recorded, you listen in on mundane conversations and various radio broadcasts as you brace for impact. You also hear many variations on the Russian words for "Oh, god" and "Oh, fuck!"

A truck driver spills nimbly out of the front of his cab after a serious crash, and a kid falls out of the back of a van. Vehicles navigate icy roads, race past forest fires and plunge into a river. Weirdos and freaks besiege windshields; fights break out, sometimes involving guns or a sledgehammer. (And you thought your town has demented drivers.) Two people narrate the scene of a multi-car pile-up as they count their blessings that barely avoided the crash. We watch a tank pull up to a carwash for a wild scrubbing.

It's all random and riveting. It puts you in the driver seat and makes you wonder why people could pull such stupid maneuvers while reminding you that you've done the same and worse but survived to tell about it.

We get no narration, just ambient sounds. It skips by in 67 minutes. It is a torrent of sights and sounds capturing nature and human nature. It's a roller-coaster of a YouTube jag.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (2008) (A) - Danny Boyle, at the top of his game, slaps life and color across the big screen to tell the irresistible tale of a kid from the slums of Mumbai hoping to win riches on a game show.

Dev Patel ("Lion") stars as the young man held for questioning by authorities suspicious of his ability to nail ever answer, pressing to the brink of the top prize. The reason he knows the answers: Each question triggers memories from his past, which are explored in flashbacks. It becomes an old-fashioned fable in which a boy grows up destined to reconnect with the girl he has always loved (Freida Pinto).

Boyle -- combining the grittiness of "Trainspotting" with the heartwarming glow and childhood scrappiness from "Millions" --  makes no false moves over an even two hours, directing the narrative like a chess master. Mumbai jump-starts the viewer's senses, and the soundtrack sizzles with snippets of memorable songs, including, famously, M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes."

Indelible characters slice through the scenes, including Anil Kapoor as the oily game-show host ("Who wants to be a mill-a-naire?!") and Irrfan Khan as the bemused police inspector. Patel and Pinto are the cute couple next door you cheer for. It's a giddy ride.

BONUS TRACK
"Paper Planes":



And the "Road Movie" trailer: